Families whose loved ones are buried at Ajax cemetery Pine Ridge Memorial Gardens are angry after items they placed on their grave sites were removed.
The graveyard’s management said it was part of a long-planned cleanup of the cemetery grounds, but families say it was disrespectful — and sentimental objects were lost.
While visiting her son Ayden Hendricks last month, Schevaune Parchment said she was shocked to see many items she placed at his grave were removed. The mother says decorating her nine-year-old boy’s grave over the past six years has become a form of therapy for her, after he died of brain cancer.
“For us, making these gardens, decorating it the way we want … it’s so much easier to feel some sort of peace, some sort of closeness with our loved ones,” Parchment said.
She said shepherd’s hooks, solar lights, a lantern with a candle, Ayden’s picture and a bracelet made by a family member were among the items taken away.
“I feel robbed,” she said.
The family of 14-year-old Zelek Murray says they feel the same. Murray and Hendricks became friends in hospital before he also died of brain cancer.
His mother, Temeka Ishmael, said the removal is unfair.
“All we want to do is remember our loved ones with some sentimental stuff that are important to us, that were important to them,” Ishmael said.
“For you to just take it like it’s garbage, it’s not OK.”
Company says it provided notice of cleanup
Dustin Wright, the vice president of marketing and communications for Arbor Memorial, the company that runs the cemetery, told CBC Toronto it removed decorative items to preserve the cemetery’s natural beauty, for safety and to comply with its bylaws.
“While we understand the sentimental value these decorative items can hold, with approximately 40,000 interments and an increasing number of families served each year, complaints about the volume of decorative items and cemetery standards prompted the need for this step,” said Wright in an email.
Wright said the company notified families using signs, phone calls, and emails six months before the cleanup took place.
“All keepsakes and mementos can be found in a recovery area set up on the south side of the gardens. We’ve increased staff to assist families with locating items and encourage them to get in touch with us directly for support and retrieval options.”
Parchment said she wasn’t given advance notice, and is unable to find many of the removed items.
Mother demands apology
According to the Bereavement Authority of Ontario, cemeteries have their own bylaws that dictate policies on what items and decorations are permitted at grave sites.
Wright said the bylaws on this are provided to each family at the time of purchase and are also available for download online. The bylaws state the company retains the right to remove items that are “detrimental to efficient maintenance” among other reasons, and that the company is not obliged to give notice of removal or disposition.
While Parchment wants an apology from the cemetery, she vows to continue her therapeutic tradition of decorating her son’s grave.
“The bylaws to me [don’t] really mean anything,” she said. “I’m still going to decorate it because I just feel that that’s the right thing to do.”