The Ford government recently announced their support of an NDP bill to declare intimate partner violence an epidemic in Ontario – an issue that disproportionately affects women.
A Toronto woman says her own experiences with domestic violence not only inspired her to learn self-defence, but help other women do the same in a supportive environment.
“I was put into a headlock. I was punched in the face over and over and over again and that moment had a big influence on my life because … it was like time slowed down and I remember thinking, ‘If I knew how to get out of this headlock, then what?’ But I didn’t,” says Nikki Saltz, founder of Civilian Self Defense.
“And it was a feeling of extreme powerlessness and essentially I just had to accept that violence. I had no choice.”
That incident set Saltz on a path that saw her learning various forms of martial arts, ultimately channeling what she learned into private and corporate seminars. But stepping into the ring, so to speak, was a challenge.
“When you walk into a martial arts training facility, most of the time you’re met with a lot of men. They tend to be – especially if they’ve been training a long time – bigger, they’re using aggression in the courses,” she explains.
“So as a woman with no experience and perhaps trauma from being faced with an incident, you’re much less likely to have the confidence to walk into an environment like that and start to train. And for myself, it took many, many, many years after that incident, before I did enter into an environment like that. And then it took many years beyond that to even start to feel comfortable.”
After years of training in those environments dominated my men, she says she understands all too well the need for a woman-centric space and course.
“There’s the issue of dealing with violence as a civilian, no matter who you are. But then there’s the issue of dealing with violence as a woman. And it’s different because we’re smaller. We are socialized differently to be more polite and soft spoken,” she says.
“For women who do speak out when there has been violence or they do experience things, they also have to worry about who’s going to believe them. And so if you have a training environment where you’re surrounded by women, all of those obstacles go out the window. And that’s a very different place to start your training.”
With that in mind, Saltz has launched Tough Targets, a course for girls and women aged 10 and up to begin training in mixed martial arts.
“I wish that when I had experienced violence as a younger woman, that I had access to a community of women who maybe had been through the same thing, but also who were just there, that I could talk to and that I could ask questions to, especially if they were a little older and had more life experience. So that’s been really important to me in terms of putting together Tough Targets,” she says.
Escape, not violence
The course is taught over two weekends, with the aim of introducing women to specific aspects of mixed martial arts training which they can then choose to pursue further.
“We built this course from the ground up. So we start with very basic self-defence – when someone’s going to approach you and how to get away, because we don’t want to make contact unless we have to,” explains Becca Gill, a martial artist with 12 years of experience in various forms.
She emphasizes that the course is aimed at escaping violence, rather than engaging in it.
“We don’t want to have to engage with people ever if they do want to inflict violence on us. The more we’re engaging, the more we’re giving them opportunity and we don’t want that to happen,” she says.
“If they’re going engage with us, we have to engage as well, but to the point where we can create a safe space and get out and not get harmed. We don’t want to continue fighting with this person on the ground if we don’t need to. Get into a good position and get out and call for help.”
Marianna Zafiroudis, a jiujitsu athlete and owner of Tanooki Martial Arts ,explains that the course is structured to ease people into the concept of close contact with a mix of boxing and jiujitsu principals.
“So the first half of it we’re focusing on using footing — if somebody’s approaching you or running at you while you’re standing, learning how to disengage or just steering off to the side … and if you can’t, how to use your hands to parry somebody trying to grab you … and you can do that with boxing footwork,” she says.
“We also work a little bit on, let’s say you’re on the ground and now somebody’s trying to attack you … you learn to manipulate somebody’s body weight to get on top, they fall down, and then from there you can disengage.”
The second session focuses on close range, violent situations.
“[If] they’re really in your personal space and they’re on top of you and you’re really uncomfortable and you’re starting to panic. How can we use their body weight to manipulate and get on top from a close range now? If their chest is on your chest or they’re choking you, how can you pull their arm across the body and maybe attack the back,” says Zafiroudis.
There’s also a focus on submissions and how to neutralize an attacker to the point where the risk is minimized and you can escape.
She adds that with sufficient training, over time, it is possible to mitigate the overwhelming panic reflex that naturally occurs when being attacked.
“It’s important, I think, to understand what you’re going through and experiencing it and then learning how to control it. And the one thing that Jiujitsu and practicing it consistently does offer is the ability to understand your emotions in the moment, to understand what you’re going through …. ‘Okay. I’m feeling panicked, I’m feeling clustered, I’m feeling like I’m having an anxiety attack.’ … and then learning how to [work through it]. Like, ‘okay, now I’m in trouble. Now I have to start to work.’ I think that will help in like a really intense situation or an attacking situation,” she says.
A safe space beyond self-defence training
Saltz adds that while the course focuses on the physical aspects of self-defence, they’re also working on mindset, awareness and reflexes.
“There’s a psychological component as well, whether it has to do with elevating your confidence or re-socializing yourself as a woman to be more comfortable with aggression,” she says.
In addition, she wants to create a safe space for women to share their experiences with others who will believe and support them.
“We have a lot of women who are in the seminar now who have already started opening up about their life experiences, and it’s been really cool to see them getting support from the other people in the seminar,” says Saltz.
“Sometimes you see those emotions kind of bubbling through in the training, and so them working through it and being in that moment and surrounding themselves with supportive people, it actually is beneficial for them in terms of like dealing with ultimate stresses in their lives as well,” adds Zafiroudis.
Saltz says in the sessions they’ve run so far there has been a strong sense of community and shared life experiences among attendees, making it a healing experience for many as well.
“You could just feel the energy was so electric in the room in a way that I haven’t seen before in any other seminar … because the desire to feel safe is so strong. The desire to overcome this fear that women and girls walk with in life is really strong.”